Reality TV: Jon&Kate Plus 8

Thought you'd be interested in this NYtimes article. -Clare

Good Friends From Afar

Julie Vermeer Elliott teaches Christian ethics and interdisciplinary studies at Eastern University in St. Davids, Penn. She has written about “Jon and Kate Plus 8” for Christianity Today.

Reality television is touted as a window into the worlds of people whose lives are more interesting than our own. We long to know whether “Supernanny” will tame that unruly child, whether our favorite contestant will reign as “The Biggest Loser” and most recently, whether Jon and Kate will call it quits. But in peering through the window of reality TV, we often fail to see our own reflections and ask what these shows say about us. Perhaps reality TV is as much a mirror on the viewers’ desires as it is a window into the stars’ realities.

Reality TV’s no-cost companionship soothes our sense of loneliness in an increasingly isolated world. These shows, especially the ones whose characters return from week to week, offer us a bit of what is lacking in our increasingly isolated lives: a sense of human connection.

We are granted access to thoughts and events that were once reserved for only the closest of friends. Such access gives us the feeling of intimacy with none of the responsibilities. We can watch the disintegration of a marriage without offering advice or lending a helping hand. We can admire families with multiple children without changing a diaper or cooking a “welcome home baby” casserole. We can “know” others without having to invest in them as persons. Why is this so appealing to us? In a world in which our lives are overly scheduled and where we may have 500 Facebook friends but few close relationships, reality TV’s no-cost companionship soothes our sense of loneliness.

Unfortunately this temporary soothing leads to a deeper longing when our emotional connections with TV personalities divert us from real relationships. Of course, this is a risk with any form of entertainment. But I suspect we are uniquely drawn to reality TV stars because they are seemingly like us, and thus capable of being our “friends.”

Yet sadly, when we look for company in our televisions rather than on our front porches or around our dinner tables, we are left unfulfilled. So as we gaze into the mirror of reality TV, we must consider what it reveals about our needs as individuals. But ultimately, we must shift our gaze away from ourselves and toward those we encounter each day, who like us, long for relationships in a reality that is costlier, but also vastly more satisfying than reality TV.